If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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