the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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