I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My balls are so social today.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
