It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it was like eating out sand paper
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
