just come out here and I will go home with you...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I enjoy the company of your penis
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
