it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
