were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
