I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
zippers are such a cool invention
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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