I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
