dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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