i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
