The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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