Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's just like the Real World with babies
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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