Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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