highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
