New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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