She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
