It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
