Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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