sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
