Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
