I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
