I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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