This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
