He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
