Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
