It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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