so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize