My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
