I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
