I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wannas sexs uuuuu
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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