my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
