Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
