You work out of a Hotel?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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