Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
They took my balls.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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