worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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