I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
