She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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