i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
