The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
