I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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