so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
