Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
