yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
