Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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