Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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