Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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