What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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