hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
