Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
