Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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