now i know why i became what i already was.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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